One Earring Short of Goodbye

One earring short of goodbye

the place still smells like her
but only in the corners,
like old smoke.

on the sink there’s
a half-used bottle of cheap perfume,
the kind that tries too hard
and almost makes it,
the kind she wore
to turn a bad day
into something with hips.

i pick it up and spray once
into the air
like i’m firing a warning shot.
it falls through the light
and lands on nothing.
even the dust doesn’t want it.

in the bathroom cabinet
an almost empty box of tampons
sits there like a calendar
with the last page torn off.
all those months
measuring blood and time,
all that silent math
i never learned to do.

i stare at it
like it’s a confession
i can’t read.
i can’t decide
if it’s cruel
or merciful
that she didn’t bother to take it.

on the tile by the drain
a broken earring,
one small piece of sparkle
with its back missing,
like a sentence that ends
halfway through the truth.

i keep finding her
in the stupid inventory
of what’s left behind...
the shampoo with her hair in it,
the mug with the chipped lip,
the loose bobby pin
that could hold the whole world together
if it needed to.

i drink coffee that tastes
like regret and tap water.
i drink beer that tastes
like more beer.
i listen to the refrigerator
click on and off
like a bored god.

the bed is too big
and also too small.
every night i roll toward
the empty side
like a dog looking for heat.

i tell myself
she’s happier.
i tell myself
i’m free.
i tell myself
anything
so i don’t have to say
the plain thing:

she left
and this place
learned her shape
and now it can’t unlearn it.

i try to be tough about it,
the way men are supposed to be
when the ship goes down.
but the truth is,
i lose fights
to objects.

a bottle.
a box.
a broken piece of metal
on cold tile.

that’s how it happens...
not with a movie speech
or a slammed door,
but with the quiet, stubborn leftovers
refusing to die.

and i’m standing there
in yesterday’s shirt,
staring at her fragments,
thinking:

if love is a god,
it’s the kind that moves out
while you’re at work
and leaves you
the bill
and the smell.